ZThemes
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entropicnotes:

So my brother’s friend is kind of a little fucking asshole

and he found out that the neighbor has a wIRELESS PRINTER AND PRINTED THIS DOCUMENT ON IT

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entropicnotes:

So my brother’s friend is kind of a little fucking asshole

and he found out that the neighbor has a wIRELESS PRINTER AND PRINTED THIS DOCUMENT ON IT

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Played: 888810 times
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summmertime-saddness: I’m fucking single. Still a better love story than Twilight.
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dogshaming: Hi my name is Thunder and I locked my Mommy out of her car, then right before the firefighters came I unlocked the door! Not to mention we live in HOT Arizona and it was 115 degrees outside, and I was in the air conditioned car!!! Hahaha jokes on mommy I can lock and unlock doors!
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So after work today I went shopping and got ambushed by a girl trying to sell me an $80 bottle of aloe vera aftershave cream, which she then said she’d discount to $55 if I bought today. I told her I wasn’t sure if I had the money and said I’d come back in about half an hour once I had checked my balance and I would decide then whether or not to buy. Of course, I never planned on buying in the first place, but I thought I’d just let her off nicely…at first.

I then went to JB Hifi, hoping to pick up a few CDs, eventually deciding on completely different CDs, and finally leaving with four TV series and a CD, totalling just under $85.

I then decided to walk back the same way in a slight rush to avoid another ambush, waving to the girl as I walked past. The look on her face was amazing, a mix of shock and disbelief. I walked off feeling like a badass.

Tl;dr version:
Cream that random stranger caked my face with: $55.
The Big Bang Theory Seasons 1-4 and the deluxe edition of Slash’s self-titled album: $83.90.
The look on before-mentioned girl’s face upon discovering I had decided not to buy her stupid-ass shaving cream because I had made a purchase of much greater value: Priceless.

There are some things money can’t buy. For everything else, there’s a troll like me willing to sacrifice a portion of money for both short-term and long-term entertainment.

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scootercomputer:

when i was like 5 my friend told me that a prostitute was someone who sold ice cream so for TWO YEARS I TOLD EVERYONE THAT I WANTED TO BE A PROSTITUTE

TWO YEARS

NO ONE FUCKING CORRECTED ME

FOR TWO

YEARS

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so driving back from the city yesterday, i get a random text from what appears to be a middle school boy that texted the wrong number.

willinoise:

^lil playa~~

so does this make me a fucked up individual or

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one time my parents were gone for the weekend

so i took everything in the house and moved it five inches to the left.

it was subtle enough that it wasn’t obvious but they felt like something was off when they got back

and they kept bumping into the corners of tables and couches

i am a cruel man

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